Family and friends play a crucial role in the care, support and recovery of someone with an eating disorder. The effects of an eating disorder are often felt not only by the person experiencing it, but also their family and support network. Carers may face considerable personal strain through feelings of confusion, distress, guilt, exhaustion and anxiety. For this reason, it is important that carers look after their own wellbeing whilst supporting the recovery of someone with an eating disorder.
Each stage of recovery will bring both triumphs and challenges. In order to maintain a healthy relationship with the person you are caring for and effectively support their recovery, certain strategies can be adopted. The National Eating Disorders Collaboration (NEDC) have developed helpful tips to assist carers in their approach.
Learn as much as you can
Having a good understanding of eating disorders will help you identify what is happening to the person you are caring for. Specific information is available for carers to assist with developing appropriate skills and coping mechanisms during this difficult time. To find helpful resources, visit the NEDC Knowledge Hub at www.nedc.com.au/research-resources.
Learning together can also be effective in increasing communication and understanding. Eatingdisordersinfo.org.au is a mobile responsive website designed to be relevant and engaging to young people.
Remember who the person is
Do not let the eating disorder take over the person’s identity. Remember that they are still the same person they have always been. Separating the person from the illness can be helpful for you and the person you are caring for. This is called externalisation and helps all involved to see the illness as the problem and the person you are caring for as part of the solution. This can be very empowering for everyone involved, as the target of all treatment is the problem not the person.
Communicate openly
Communicate openly, without judgement or negativity and allow the person to express how they are feeling. Avoid focussing on food and weight and instead try to talk about the feelings that may exist beneath the illness. Pay attention to the person’s non-verbal reactions and body language and encourage them to trust and speak openly with you.
Stay positive
Draw attention to the positive attributes the person has. Talk about the things they enjoy and are good at, and the things you love about them. Reminding the person of their life outside of their illness can help them to realise there is more to them than their eating disorder.
Make time for yourself
It is extremely important for carers to look after their own wellbeing. Prioritising ‘time out’ for yourself will help restore your energy and rejuvenate your mind. Make the time to see a friend, go for a walk, do some exercise or see a film. The better you care for yourself, the more you will be able to help the person you are caring for.
Be patient
People with eating disorders can experience a range of different and conflicting emotions all in one day. This can be very hard for you and the person you are caring for to manage. The road to recovery can be a long journey involving a range of emotions and setbacks. It is important to be as calm and patient as possible throughout their recovery and remember that there is no quick fix. Recovery takes time and patience.
Seek support
Seeking professional support can reduce the amount of stress you carry and improve your capacity to care for someone with an eating disorder. Community based organisations and respite centres are equipped with specifically trained professionals who can assist you with skills based support, support for your physical and psychological well-being, help with employment and also provide information booklets, brochures, peer support groups and networks.
Caring for someone with an eating disorder is a huge responsibility. Support and information is always available for family and friends. For additional resources and evidence-based information on eating disorders visit: http://www.nedc.com.au/families-and-carers
The National Eating Disorders Collaboration (NEDC) is an initiative of Australian Government Department of Health and a collaboration of people and organisations with an expertise and/or interest in eating disorders. NEDC aims to improve the health outcomes of people with, or at risk of developing an eating disorder in Australia through providing evidence-based information and resources.
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